God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
