Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
