and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
