My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
