brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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