another moral hangover. fuck.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
