Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A bitchslap is in order.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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