Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize