I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
