cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
