Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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