You just made me feel so damn special
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
