You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
