i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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