That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
