Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
