I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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