Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
