you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
