she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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