I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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