Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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