You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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