I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
