I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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