The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
