; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
