i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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