I heard we made out
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize