I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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