My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
