Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
