I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
