Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
