Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.

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(757): View more from Virginia

if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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(512): View more from Texas

In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.

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