I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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