Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
