What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
