Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
