Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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