I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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