I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
