I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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