My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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