she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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