Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
