people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
