ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
