I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I understand Curling. That high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
