is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
