i don't like sucking hair
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drunk is not a location!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
