you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
